The 10D10 Interview Challenge

#1 – James Anderson Foster, Audiobook Narrator

James is the narrator for a lot of my books, so when I thought of what narrators I wanted to do the series here, I immediately put him at about sixteenth on the list. When the first fifteen cancelled or ran away laughing, he slid right into the pole position, and we’re leading this shenanigan with good old Jimmy.

James’ rolls for the interview were: 7, 7, 1, 10, 5, 1, 1, 6, 7, 6

And here we are;

1. To booze, or not to booze?

Are you kidding? ALWAYS to booze. When in doubt? Booze. Did you booze, and now think maybe you shouldn’t have? Booze again – it’ll pass.

Always to booze. My man. It does explain a lot of the early confusion I had when you were recording Adrian’s Undead Diary. The slurs, and whatnot.

2. Do you have a writing mascot on your desk? Like, a My Little Pony figure your daughter gave you that sits there, judging you as you try and write? Or maybe yours is inspirational.

I have a Daniel Tiger stuffed animal that my 4 year old gave me to keep in the booth so that I don’t forget that he loves me. Which is so sweet, and you all went “aww…” but in a few minutes, you’ll realize how deeply sad it is that I spend so much time in my recording booth that my little boy thinks I’ll forget about him. Now go see answer to question #1.

Dude. That’s some profound stuff. I love your kids. They’re both awesome. My daughter Willow comes into the office and leaves gifts for me periodically as I work. Most recently she came in and farted, then left, cackling.

3. Give or take, how many different movies do you think you’ve seen in your lifetime, and do you regret that number, now that you’ve thought about it?

I’ve been going to the movies since walk-in theaters were still called “walk-in theaters” and not just theaters. I LOVE movies – there’s no way I could give you an accurate number, there are so many. My only regret is how long it took my local theater to get those plush recliner chairs.

Those reclining seats are literally God’s gift to my fat ass. There’s a place near here where Leah and I go where they have the motorized recliners, AND assigned seating. We always go there when we can. So comfortable!

4. Pets? Do you have them? What’s the best thing about each of them?

Two cats (Sherlock and Dr. Watson) and a dog (Lainie). My favorite thing about them is really just Sherlock. He’s an aggressive psycho who has violently launched himself at Watson, the dog, and my wife’s head. The Mrs.’ Said he has “dead eyes, like a shark” – and yet for some reason he ADORES me. I am his human – he is sweet, and cuddly around me. This, plus his violent sociopathy around everyone else amuses me to no end.

Have you considered adding any other animals to the mix? Animals that could still be affectionate towards you, yet dangerous to the whole family? An actual shark? Honey badger?

5. How do magnets work? Is it magic? Do you think it’s magic?

It is absolutely magic – basic earth elementalism. Dude, do you even Agrippa?

I tried it once, but wound up running around naked in downtown Boston. See #1 above.

6. None of us published our writing to watch it collect bad reviews and low sales, yet here we are. When you set out on your publishing journey, what was it you really wanted to accomplish?

I wanted to accomplish several things – I wanted to perform, but without anyone seeing me. I wanted to have a job, but without having to personally interact with anyone. Those two goals were met early. After that, I just want people to enjoy what I put out there and tell me how pretty I am.

You are so pretty. I swooned HARD when I downloaded the picture for you above.

7. Are hobbies important for a person to have? If no, why don’t you have a soul?

I suppose they can be, if you’ve got time for them – and I DO have a soul, thank you very much… and it took a significant amount of time, study, and effort to master this particular form of necromancy (getting the soul IN the skull is easy, it’s getting it to STAY there that’s tricky!) and hey, it looks like I DO have a hobby after all!

Don’t you collect teeth too? Last time we had dinner at your house I swear I saw a pile of teeth on top of the toilet tank. Or are we not talking about that?

8. Best villain you ever read, and what was it about that antagonist that resonated with you so strongly?

So, going off book here – because this is a movie villain (see #3): Daniel, in the Karate Kid. Rolling in to town, stealing a dude’s girlfriend and then beating him up? Classic!

Seriously though, I like “failed hero” villains – bad guys that started out as trying to do the right thing, but failed… because damned if that isn’t all of us at one point or another, yeah?

Daniel is so the villain in that story. I used to love that movie. Myagi, man. I worshipped that fucking guy.

9. If you were to find a genie that granted wishes in a lamp, what would your three wishes be? And don’t be lame, and wish for more wishes. Let’s talk quality over quantity.

First off – fuck you, I’m wishing for 100 more genies right out of the gate.

I… need to adjust how that question reads. You’re a clever one, James. And so pretty too.

10. There are two dead bodies in the trunk of your car. Who are the first two authors you’re calling to get a hand from?

See, here’s the thing – it’s less important who you call, than it is who will actually show up, right? Who’s going to both know what to do with the body (there may be many ways to skin a cat, but there’s only ONE way to quickly decompose a body, and that’s lye!) AND be willing to roll in with the assist. With that in mind, I’d be calling Chris Philbrook. Unless he’s already in the trunk, in which case I suppose I’m screwed.

Have shovel, will travel, brother. Ask no questions and tell no lies. I got you, boo.

 

James… you’re an animal. Thanks for joining me on this silly interview escapade, and I’m grateful to call you friend, and business partner.

Up next week: author James T. Wilson!

 

-Chris

 

 

James Anderson Foster is an Audie Nominated, multi-award-winning narrator who was one of those kids that actually lettered in drama way back in High School (and if you ask nicely, he might even tell you just how far back that was).

James Anderson Foster was born in Björk’s house in Iceland and grew up on Easter Island, where his parents were giant stone heads. He has the ability to fire beams of tacos out of his hands and he can turn his legs into tigers. On Sundays, James enjoys reading Family Circus and traveling through time. His favorite color is greenish-transparent and his favorite movie is the one you just watched. James is in charge of uploading the staff bios to the website, and no one has checked over his work.

James’ narration work can be found at https://jamesnarrates.com
James’ audiobook acting coaching can be found at https://fosteringcharacters.com
James also created and operates https://serialaudio.com where you’ll find podcasts with free serialized genre-fiction stories!