The 10D10 Interview Challenge
#9 – Scot Thomas, author, indescribable smartass, guy who did that thing one time
Scot and I connected on Facebook back when Adrian’s Undead Diary was just a real time story being written for its website. My buddy Joe I think hooked up with the page he and his friends were running; Zombie Apocalypse Preparation. They wrote funny shit and practical shit about how to survive, and we instantly became acquaintances, and now, dare I say, friends.
I knew I’d ask Scot to do one of these, because he consistently makes me laugh. His profile pictures are DA BOMB. His face, man. Kills me. I mean just look at the picture above. Reminds me of this picture:
Anyhoo, Scot’s rolls for this interview were: 7, 8, 9, 3, 9, 6, 8, 7, 3, 8
And here we go. Brace yourself. It’s about to get real.
- To booze, or not to booze?
Booze of course. Within moderation, if you have left the house, and no holds barred if you’re sitting at home.
Agreed! One of the reasons I dislike going out to bars is I feel like I need to moderate. I won’t drink if I’m driving, and I really can’t afford enough alcohol in a bar to get drunk.
2. How many front line characters have you killed off while writing, and how much joy did that bring you?
Any character I write into a story is dead. They just don’t know it yet. Even if they make it through the first story their untimely death is surely around the corner. I enjoy killing characters. It’s one of the small joys of being a writer. I mean, who needs that kind of baggage?
I suspect you’re the kind of person who scoops bugs into a jar to ‘save them’ but then once you’re all alone, you invent crazy ways to kill the bugs in your jars. Totally well adjusted, and, that idea for a serial killer is now officially mine, no one steal that shit.
3. Who’s your favorite actor and actress, and what are the best examples of their work? Bonus points if your answer isn’t Ben Affleck in Phantoms, despite him being the bomb, yo.
I do not have a favorite actor or actress. I have favorite characters in stories who were played by great actors or actresses. However, if I was forced to choose, and I can’t name Ben Affleck in Phantoms, I would go with Robert Downey Jr across his entire body of work. On the actress side, I’d go with Molly Ringwald. Because I grew up in the 80’s.
RDJ is the shit, gotta agree. He’s consistent across all roles. As for Molly… I think that’s just your teenage hormones giving her a shout-out. What’s the ballpark figure on number of pole-waxings you gave yourself watching Sixteen Candles? I mean, I know it’s probably a fluid number, what with you owning it on DVD now.
4. What’s the secret to playing Monopoly with a loved one, and retaining that relationship after all the rent is paid?
There is no secret, and no relationships afterwards. Monopoly is an intensely savage game you only play with people you want to write out of your life. Table flipping is always an option.
Pyrrhic victories for the whole family!
5. You’re renting a car, and the one you want is gone. The rental agency offers you a choice: sports car, or SUV. Which do you take and why?
I will always go with the SUV. I’m a dad. My kids need room. Can’t be funny with this one. Stupid practicality.
I own a minivan. I’ll say it again.
6. What’s something you royally screwed up in your life?
What haven’t I screwed up in my life? I mean come on. No solid relationships, my finances are in ruin constantly. I mean, I got some pretty good kids. But that’s about all I got going for me.
Your kids are amazing, and that is no little thing, brother. And as for money… anyone with kids is always surfing that wave now. Also, your book was awesome, your bald head gleams like the skull of a trophy you’ve never won, and you live in an area with crushing, oppressive heat.
But really. You’re cool. At least, I think so.
7. Do you like to travel? What’s one of the coolest places you ever went, and are you allowed to return there after what you did. Shame. Shame on you.
This is probably the most difficult question you’ve asked. I love to travel, but I fucking hate travel. Travel comes with many things I despise. People, new experiences, people, strange food, people, odd time zones, people… the list goes on but mostly includes people. I have been to almost every continent. Most exotic place I went, Antarctica. Yeah suck it. Touched the South Pole. It’s real. I mean, not naturally occurring, but real.
I bet you touched the “South Pole,” you freak.
Actually, if that’s true, that’s awesome. And as far as the people thing goes, I understand that.
8. Of everything you’ve ever read (not TV or movies) what hero, or heroine made your heart soar with badassery or love?
It’s hard to pick one hero out of everything I’ve ever read. From comic books to novels I’ve had a plethora of people who inspired awe and love. If I were forced at gunpoint to pick just one, it’d be the goddamn Batman.
Batman, for real? Like, the Dark Knight period, or the Adam West period?
9. Electric cars. Are they for you? What about robot cars? What’re your feelings about Skynet?
Electric cars are fucking awesome, until you want idk A/C on a road trip. Robot cars are an abomination. Not because they will one day realize humans are shit and go on a killing spree, but before that they will be like unpaid bounty hunters. Warrant for your arrest? Cop just puts a call out to the neural net and you are delivered. Screw that noise. Internal Combustion and no damn brain for the win. Skynet is a hoax. I for one welcome our new AI overlords.
Artificial Intelligence terrifies me. The idea that an unemotional computer personality will make decisions related to me or my family… no bueno. I’ll take flawed human beings all day, every day.
Also, my wife is terrified of robots, so I have to hate them.
10. Conventions: Awesome experiences, or plagues upon humanity? What’s something good and bad about them?
I have been to about 50 conventions in my life. Most as a fan, but 5 as a writer. I will tell you what, despite my overwhelming hatred for the general public and people in general. They’re fucking awesome. I love just seeing all the passion people have for worlds created by others. When you can inspire a following, you are better than a God.
I love me some conventions. They’re tough; a lot of work, and exhausting, but you see so much camaraderie amongst people who were looking for a place to belong. It’s awesome.
What if you can inspire a really solid, like, bountiful bowel movement? Is that the same thing as inspiring a following? Am I a God?
Thanks Scot! I appreciate you not shitting all over coffee like Wilburn did a few interviews back.
Up next week: E.J. Stevens!
Scot Thomas was born in Austin, Texas to loving parents who remain married to this day.
Childhood was uneventful. Went to school, finished school.
He has lived and worked all over the world, his favorite place to this day being Texas, which is where he currently is.
He has written countless stories, and told many jokes, but only one book has yet to be published.
That one book, truth be told, was just a 300 page dick and fart joke which sold far better than expected.
He spends most of his time reading works by other authors, and writing more stories that likely will never see the light of day since he is well compensated at his day job.
Read Scot’s 300 page dick and fart joke here on Amazon!