The 10D10 Interview Challenge
#16 – Jeff Strand, author, bigfoot aficionado, jaded porn critic.
Jeff’s one of those kinds of guys that you see online, being all witty, and smart, and funny, and you think to yourself; Jesus I hate people that talented. So you decide to stalk him a little bit, turn up the heat, make him sweat a little bit, maybe read one or two of his books and see what makes him tick, and then you realize; whoa, Nelly. This guy has issues, better pump the brakes.
SO yeah, that’s Jeff, in a nutshell. Jeff’s a successful horror and YA author who uses all 26 letters of the alphabet repeatedly to work his magic.
I rolled some dice to make an interview for him, and he got the following: 6, 10, 4, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 4, 10
Jeff answered my email using smoke signals, and here is his interview, in its entirety.
- What’s your favorite cold beverage and why?
Probably raspberry Snapple iced tea. Because it’s delicious and made from the best stuff on earth! Also “Snapple” is fun to say. Snapple Snapple Snapple. Say it with me!
Snapple is the bomb, yo. Like Ben Affleck in Phantoms. Snapple blew up when I was in High School, and everyone, everywhere was downing the stuff like schnapps at a weekend party. That and Fruitopia.
- On a good day, what’s your writing goal before you give up and throw a tantrum?
It depends how close I am to the deadline. If the deadline is far away, my goal is 3 words and some funny social media posts. If the deadline is tomorrow, my goal is 25,000 words.
Ah, I see. Moving the goal posts based on desperation. I too, have done that, and am doing that right now. I’ll sleep after I get the manuscript done. Maybe. Or when my kids start sleeping like people should.
- Do you prefer movie theaters, or watching flicks at home?
Despite the fact that people in the audience won’t STFU during the movie, I always prefer to see stuff in the theater. I don’t watch movies at home very often.
Theaters are great, but I’m an elitist. I only want to see movies in the assigned-seating, mechanical recliner chairs in this one theater. Anything else and I bitch like those old critics on The Muppet Show, regardless of the movie.
- A fan has reached out to you, offering to buy you a cool gift. What would you tell them to buy you, and why is it Lego sets?
In my day, we didn’t have Star Wars Legos or Guardians of the Galaxy Legos or Hereditary Legos or any of that stuff. All I had was a great big bucket of Legos! I made everything from my imagination! And they sucked compared to the Star Wars kits! But they were cheaper! Not that I paid for my own Legos when I was eight! I don’t actually want any Legos! Your question is based on a false premise!
Hereditary Legos? Holy shit I’d be down for that in a heartbeat. Imagine a tree house set? Holy crap. And I had that bucket of Legos. It eventually broke apart and became a cardboard box of Legos, which sucked, because little pieces would always get stuck under the flaps on the bottom. #FirstWorldProblems False premise my ass, Strand. False premise my ass.
- You’re renting a car, and the one you want is gone. The rental agency offers you a choice: sports car, or SUV. Which do you take and why?
All I want is something that’s fuel efficient with plenty of trunk space.
For body storage. Smart.
- What’s something you’re saving up for?
A car accident. I can’t afford one right now, but I’m hoping that if I sock away a little money each month…
You’ll be able to afford that deductible. Clever man, learning how to save like that. BRB, gonna impulsively buy a case of Cool Ranch Doritos on Amazon.
- Writers work hard; it takes months to write a book, and more to edit it, and get it ready for public consumption. What’s something else you’ve invested a lot of time into, that’s not your collection of empty Twinkie wrappers?
I’ve been married for almost twenty-two years, so I think “my marriage” is a pretty good answer.
That’s a great marriage, and a great investment of time! Congrats on tricking someone into liking you that long. I too one day hope someone will like me that long.
- What’s the best adaptation you ever saw of a book going to TV or movies? Easy answer is Winnie the Pooh, so get creative and support your answer with feeling.
My favorite book-to-movie adaptation is still MISERY. It’s one of my favorite Stephen King novels, but I think the movie actually improves on the source material. Kathy Bates is fantastic, of course, and the changes they made to keep it from being too gory (such as replacing the axe with a sledge hammer) were brilliant.
It is a sexy adaptation. I’m also a little shocked at how often my wife threatens to hit my ankles with a hammer, and I think it *might* have something to do with Kathy Bates.
- Video games rot your brain? True or false, and if you said false, what’s your favorite game to play?
False…but I don’t play them. I’d never write another book. I don’t have the self-control to say, “Well, I’ve been playing this fun video game for eight hours now; I suppose it’s time to shut it down.” Like an alcoholic who does not keep booze in the house, video games are forbidden in these parts. I play Words With Friends on my phone and that’s it.
Yeah video games are an issue for me. I am like, 50% sure an MMO was the cause for my divorce, with the other 50% being we were incompatible and she didn’t want kids. That being said… I don’t do MMOs ever, and I rarely play anything that’s not easy to walk away from. Ironically, I play a few games on my phone. (Dungeon Hunter Champions; if anyone wants my player referral code, you get a free tier one hero, and I get some freebies, just saying.)
- What’s something (a trope, let’s say) that comes up over and over again in your genre that drives you frigging mental that you wish you could change?
I’m not a fan of the car/bus/whatever that comes out of nowhere and smashes into somebody in a “shocking” moment. It was great the first time, which I’ll credit to FINAL DESTINATION though I may be wrong, but it’s usually easy to anticipate now and for me it no longer has any impact.
They did this in Black Summer on Netflix recently, and it got me. Totally didn’t see it coming. I’m either way on the event. It can be shocking, sure, but does it help the story, or does it exist to get teenagers to grab each other’s hands in the theater?
Well Jeff, it’s been swell, but now I gotta crawl back into the bush in your front yard. Take care!
Jeff Strand is the four-time Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of 40+ books, including Blister, A Bad Day For Voodoo, and Wolf Hunt. Cemetery Dance magazine said “No author working today comes close to Jeff Strand’s perfect mixture of comedy and terror.” He lives in Atlanta, Georgia.
His newest novel is Ferocious. Check it out here on Amazon.